12) Avoid torrid one-night stands with street mutts.
11) Try to understand that the cat is from Venus and I am from Mars.
10) I will no longer be beholden to the sound of the can opener.
9) Circulate petition that Leg Humping be a juried competition in major dog shows.
8) Call PETA and tell them what that surgical-mask-wearing freak does to us when no one is around.
7) Take time from busy schedule to stop and smell the behinds.
6) Always scoot before licking.
5) Grow opposable thumb; break into pantry; decide for MYSELF how much food is *too* much.
4) Get out of the castle more, maybe swim counter-clockwise this year.
3) Jan. 1: Kill the sock! Must kill the sock!
2) Jan. 2 - Dec. 31: Re-live victory over the sock.
And the NUMBER ONE New Year's Resolutions Made By Dogs
1) I will NOT chase the darned stick unless I see it LEAVE HIS HAND.